Day 62: First Time Jitters....An Analogy

This is technically day 62 of my training, but with my schedule calling for only a 3 mile walk to keep me loose.....I opted for sleeping in until 8:00am. I wanted to rest my right leg and it was cold and rainy....and I would have had to get up at 5:15am to do it!

The marathon jitters are upon me. I never thought I'd lose my appetite, but it's gone. Now don't think for a second that that has caused me to stop eating (that would be crazy), but it's more utilitarian at this point. No fun in it! Another unusual event for me....insomnia. I could drink a 2 liter of diet coke right before bed and sleep all night. This week, I've laid awake for too many hours to count. Reminds me of the kiddos' newborn days, which got me thinking..... Pregnancy/birth really is a lot like training/running a marathon.

You find out you're pregnant and are filled with joy, excitement and a healthy dose of fear. My first day of training was June 29th. I felt on top of the world, embarking on this great endeavor. I was also terrified. I'd only been running 9 months at that time. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew I'd be demanding more of myself than ever before. People say that pregnancy is the easiest part of parenting, but that doesn't mean it's easy. The aches, pains, nausea, vomiting, anxiety, and never-ending worry is brutal. During training, I questioned every single twinge, I questioned whether I was following the right training plan, I questioned why I was doing this, I was FULL of questions. But I was confident. I wanted this so badly. I was devoted (or obsessed as some people may say). Pregnancy carries it's share of ups and downs. I remember the extreme joy I felt when I found out we were having a little boy. I remember carefully picking out the baby's bedding, room decor, furniture, etc. I also remember being terrified of the labor and delivery process. Could I handle it? Was it really all that bad? Would my baby be healthy? Had these 40 weeks of gestation prepared me for D-day? And that feeling right there is where I'm at right now with my marathon training. Would my training be as useless as the birth preparation classes were? Will I be able to break through the wall, or will I crumble like I did turning transitional labor? What's done is done. I didn't miss one training run, I didn't skip out on one single mile of ANY of the training runs. I followed the rules. I did all that I could. But will it be enough, come M-day? I can only hope those last 6.2 miles are as "easy" as the pushing phase of labor. 4 contractions, 21 minutes and just like that it was done. I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy in my arms. Complete and utter joy and satisfaction washed over my body and mind. A true Miracle and Blessing from God had been given to us. This is the joy I look forward to at the finish line. I'm trying to remain positive. As the week has gone on, I've gone from worried, to scared, to psyched! I'm ready to take this thing on. I'm ready for it to be DONE. FINISHED. COMPLETED. I will prevail. There is no alternative. And you know what else I'm looking forward to....SLEEP. Unlike a new parent, you can be sure that Sunday night, I will sleep!